Diary of a Lady ‘In Training’

Wednesday December 14th – The ‘ACTUAL Final’ Day

Having time off university for the holidays makes one incredibly lazy and it is incredibly hard to laze like a lady should, if ladies even laze at all. For one I don’t own a silk dressing gown so therefore have to resort to my hooded towelling robe so look more like a rude girl/chav than a lady and secondly I can’t laze anywhere better than my bed and doing that all day is not productive or lady-like really is it? Although, does doing it with make-up on count? :-p

My day began today with a trip to the gym, training my legs. This involved numerous  positions namely squats, lunges and leg presses which aren’t very lady-like positions to hold yourself in, in the slightest so it was perhaps a good thing that the people in the gym did not know I was embarking on a social experiment that required me to behave in a lady-like manner. Although even if they did I am not 100% sure as to whether I could’ve trained my legs any more lady-like?

I then returned back home for a shower and a bit of pampering which I haven’t done for quite some time, but I thought with it being my final day as a lady-in-training, perhaps  I should make the effort. I left the bathroom feeling refreshed and ready to embark on some work which involved reading a required novel for my course and writing a post for this blog (which I hope you’ve all read and enjoyed reading). Perhaps not the most demanding of days but it is my holidays after all isn’t it?

I also helped my mum make dinner this evening, which is more than I usually do (I shouldn’t really say that as I’m not helping my case) and must say I enjoyed eating it even more than I usually do, so may take up cooking once again, and this time more than spaghetti on toast with a poached egg piled on top.

So, this is my final day of being a lady-in-training and although over the past month I haven’t succeeded in doing a whole lot I have managed to see how both tough and simple it is to be a lady in certain circumstances and situations. Tomorrow I will post my final report which should hopefully clarify a lot of the statements made and questions asked in my original post concerning whether ladies existed or not. I can actually say I am really looking forward to writing it.

This lady is not going anywhere.

N

Sunday December 11th – The ‘Baby Shower’ Day

When you’ve spent the majority of your day in pain, it’s nothing short of disappointing. Especially when it’s because you cannot afford the dentist. They say money cannot buy you happiness, but it could buy me some decent pain relief or even remove the darn tooth from my head, but it looks like I’ll be grinning and bearing it for a while longer.

11.12.11The most exciting part of my day was attending my friends baby shower, the most shocking part was perhaps me coming out feeling all broody and as though I could marry the first person that asked. Obviously that moment of spontaneity has passed but it’s made me realise that there is plenty more to being a lady than simply having manners, speaking properly, standing correctly and dressing presentably…motherhood as an example. Something I won’t be experiencing during this one month of my social experiment, but nevertheless I’m hoping that it is perhaps an experiment that will hold me in good stead for becoming a mother and being good at it. Particularly when it comes to teaching manners and social etiquette (‘har har!’) What I perhaps couldn’t teach them is temperance with nice food as I also realised today that good cake is something I just cannot resist thanks to my friends sisters baking. Therefore I may be a lady, but someday I may be a slightly plumper lady. Oh dear!11.12.11a

When I entered the venue where the shower was being held I walked into a room of women and each one of us couldn’t’ have been more different. The topics of conversations were actually surprising, shifting from nursery rhymes to Christmas to religion. It was actually refreshing and made me realise that I often judge far too early.

This is the last day of my fourth week and it’s fair to say that I seem to have a lot of material for a final report which will be being produced next week. Not one moment thus far has been disappointing and I think I’ve found my definite comfort zone even if it means some day I may be a little ‘plumper’.

N

Friday December 9th – The ‘Birth’ Day

Today has been an extremely long day but to be honest it has been absolutely fantastic. For one it is my best friend’s birthday today, so that makes it a little more special, it was the last day of university term and I have managed to cram so much in I’m feeling suitably proud of myself.

The day began with an infamous trip to the library followed by a 2 hour workshop. Another cold day, but I did brave the long heeled boots today for comfort, warmth and aesthetics. Vanity is so my thing at the moment it seems. Then a trip for a very long session at the gym, which was required due to missing a day and putting hardly any effort in on Thursday. I think I did work hard because I’m already aching.

The real challenge came when I got home and had to decide what to wear for this evening’s shenanigans, especially when I usually opt for the shortest or lowest cut dress/top and skirt combination. Not because I feel as though I want to show off my body parts but more because I just feel comfortable that way, especially as that is the way every other girl that goes out ‘clubbing’ seems to dress. I did opt for a black jump-suit in the end. Classic. On the plus side I knew I’d be a lot warmer than usual with the plummeting temperatures, making the choice to take a coat and scarf was clever too, particularly as the night resulted in a lot of walking from one side of the town centre to the other.

Make-up was not too in your face either, and as you can see I am growing to love this red lipstick a little too much as it appears to be gracing a lot of my pictures. Only down-side was that I actually learnt how I drink out of my glass as I managed to end up with a red ring around the entire rim. I opted not to drink alcohol too. Out of choice not only because I tend to get sucked into the binge drinking culture that graces university life (and therefore can’t just have one drink) but also because I didn’t want to risk ruining my outfit, making a fool out of myself or reverting back to any rather ladette-like tendencies of mine.

When you enter a club sober and with open eyes, you realise that everyone seems to leave all their manners and inhibitions at the door, together with the rest of their clothes it seems. I think it’s safe to say that if you looked hard enough you may find about 1% of the clientele to be ladies or gentleman. But you’d be very lucky if you came into contact with any yourself. Whatever happened to the days of going to a club simply to dance or socialise, rather than get so emphatically drunk that you cannot string a sentence of words together to even talk to the person you came with, remember your manners or even your name (With that statement I make no references at all to my friends who were all very controlled in their drinking and didn’t once forget my name)? I wasn’t too impressed with the DJ either who whilst playing some decent tunes resorted to some rather vile swear words in order to try and get people worked up enough to dance and jump around like headless lunatics.

Over the course of the past few days I have learnt that the ‘F word’ is often used as an exaggerating term, akin to something like the word ‘very’ or ‘really’. It appears something doesn’t seem so extreme without the placement of the ‘F word’ in front. E.g. I was so ‘F-ing’ angry or everybody ‘F-ing’ Dance. It concerns me that people don’t even think before they use it and often say it with a smirk on their face. It definitely comes back to the whole concern of ignorance as it is definitely not naivety.

Regardless of the above I had a lovely night with some great people and whether I drank or not, swore or not, jumped around to music or not I know that I will always have acceptance for being myself. Myself being a place I am definitely at right now.

N

Thursday December 8th – The ‘Cat Fight’ Day

When you end the day curled up in your dressing gown, holding the side of your face whilst grimacing in pain with scratches  on your face and in your ear you know that your day has not only failed in being the day you expected but also that it perhaps wasn’t one of your better days.

I now understand why they call fights between girls ‘cat fights’, particularly when you have been through one yourself trying to prepare your female kittens visit to the vets by popping her in her basket. It must’ve taken both my mum and me half an hour to eventually get her into it, minus some of our decorum and dignity. That female cat is definitely not a lady…well not in mind anyway! Then once she got to the vets, the news was broken to me that she had put on a little too much weight. Typical woman huh? Over-indulging.

I also have been enduring the day with incredible tooth pain because of an infection in my wisdom tooth so whilst I have succeeded in all tasks today I don’t believe that I’ve been walking around with a smile on my face. Much to the disappointment of a lot of the people I’ve encountered today. Most notably the 4 lads that sat next to me in the computer room using one atrocious swear word after the next. Irritated didn’t quite cover that encounter. Why women often strive for equality with men like that I will never know.

I also ditched the heels today for my more comfortable Ugg boots because I was extremely busy today and needed to be able to run. Women and running is never a good look anyway but women running in heels are even worse. I was not about to make that mistake, especially when I look even worse than the average woman when running, swaying my right arm one way and then the other with every footstep. Oh dear!

The question is, do ladies even run?

Hmmm…that’s a tough one.

N

Wednesday December 7th – The ‘Flea Market’ Day

I write this diary entry with very little energy left so forgive me if I stop writing half way through. As I’ve made it abundantly aware on my twitter page I have partaken in the age-old tradition of a flea market this evening with my mother. It was absolutely freezing so I made sure that I sincerely dressed for the occasion. I may not have looked quite so lady-like but when my fingers and toes are at risk of frostbite I don’t think deciding what to wear for aesthetic reasons really comes into it. Or should it? I guess its back to yesterday’s diary entry of comfort over pride once again.

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It was a successful flea market anyway, and it was nice to see and hear everyone in the Christmas spirit (you know, the good old fashioned talking to your neighbour when you don’t even know them kind of thing?) It would definitely have been one place I would have completely stood out in a pencil skirt and heels and to be honest I wouldn’t have blamed a lot of people for odd looks then.

What did catch my attention however were the abundance of females who smoked. I have nothing against smoking myself, whether male or female as I previously did used to be a smoker, what I do have an agitation with though is some women’s inability to make it look womanly. The majority of the women I saw walking with a cigarette in hand looked as though they were closeted men. Female figures who smoke have previously been connoted with seduction; however I did not witness any exemplary models of such a thing. I’m not suggesting they just pop out a quellazaire (although that would have been nice to see, particularly as I do own one myself and despise the fact that I cannot use it anymore) but it would be nice to see lady-like women gracing our streets for once rather than masculine-like women.

It is a shame that this social experiment has brought out the tendency to moan in me, however, I do hope that one day some women may read this diary and actually implement a positive change to their rather masculine lives. Unfortunately as a result of an implementation of an overt type of feminism that has advocated that this belief in equality for both genders is akin to their lifestyle definitions becoming terribly confused, I sadly don’t believe this will happen too soon.

 N

Tuesday December 6th – The ‘seen-but-not-heard’ Day

I learnt another very hard lesson today. Christmas shopping for 8 hours and in heels is not sensible. As I have discovered, it results in backache, foot-ache and aggravates old ailments, this being my neck. Whilst I may have looked presentable and comfortable, I can’t say I felt good or comfy. I had dressed for the cold but due to spending the majority of my time in the warmth of the shops I had a huge sweat on and every so often could not wait to put my bags down. All this pain would’ve been acceptable if I’d at least brought something for myself but this not being the case I just had to put on a brave face.

I think I now understand why you see most people in trainers and jogging bottoms when doing a big shop, in my (now) informed opinion, this is perhaps the correct way to do it. However, remembering back to a time when going into town to shop was an occasion when people used to dress to impress, it doesn’t look quite so nice. For one, people didn’t walk around with half the swagger they do in jogging bottoms and two  wearing your ‘Sunday best’ does actually make one feel confident (not arrogant) and make you wear a smile to go with it. (This is obviously if you’re not doing a ridiculously big shop!) It seems that people tend to opt for comfort over pride in an everyday sense these days when years ago pride was held in an incredibly high standing, comfort has now taken its place. Consumerism has taken over and because everyone is so obsessed with a want it now, buy it now system of thought, carrying as many bags as possible and doing it comfortably has become the norm.

The absence of manners whilst shopping today was also extremely noticeable in the shop staff as well as the fellow shoppers who surrounded me. I had people bumping into me left right and centre and I was the only one saying sorry and had my bank card snatched out of my hands one too many times with the absence of any ‘please’ or ‘thankyou’s’. Whilst my shopping may have cost me my bank balance, manners did not cost a thing.

It also seems that nobody makes use of the public toilets whilst shopping in order to break wind choosing instead to poison a shop, and the atmosphere surrounding people whilst shopping due to bad manners. The fact that one woman appeared to find it funny as she ‘dealt it’ was slightly concerning too. She was by no means a lady.

I must admit I used to be the sort of person who had the ‘I’m really not bothered what people think of me attitude’ so if somebody did break wind around me, or bump into me as though I was invisible I would be completely blunt with them, even if they were a stranger. But as a lady I’ve now learnt that it is better to hold my tongue, because not only do I become the bigger and better person with manners but I am also not the one that looks stupid.

Sometimes the saying: ‘Ladies should be seen and not heard’ really is true.

N

Monday December 5th – The ‘Getting FAR too comfortable’ Day

Today has been the day that I have felt most as though this social experiment never began. I felt so sure after the past 3 weeks of being a ‘lady-in-training’ that being a lady in a modern society was every bit possible. However, I was yet to experience an off day. A real lady with proper manners perhaps would have shut herself off from the world and hidden from visitors when dressed in ‘slobbing’ attire simply because she was poorly or her health was hindered in some way, but today walking around the street in what I would term ‘slobbing’ attire is deemed acceptable therefore why would dressing that way in my own home around guests not seem so?

The first day, I must admit I did feel guilty and I did not feel very feminine at all, even though this was the least of my worries due to my neck pain, but that guilt soon disappeared yesterday, the second day of what I have termed my ‘regression’. I must admit, I’m not happy about it and I know that ultimately I don’t want to return to being the semi-masculine woman that I was just over 3 weeks ago but I can’t help wonder if I’m going to have to go through the same transitions that I’ve already experienced.

One good thing is that the swearing has not returned, but I simply think that it’s because in the absence of such vulgarities from my vocabulary I have realised just how foul they are and how idiotic that they can make one person seem. Also, (apologies to anyone who believes that I am not capable of this but…) I have not broke wind in public or around other people which contrary to popular belief is actually quite a shock to both myself and others. 🙂

I’m hoping that once my neck is fully healed I will be able to regain my position as a ‘lady-in-training’ simply because I am missing my 5 inch heels and pencil skirt but also because I need to see this darn experiment through the end.

N

Sunday, December 4th – The ‘Ladette’ Day

It’s been a long slog in front of the computer today and my neck isn’t much better therefore I could be accused of slouching at my desk and doing it quite well too.

I’ve managed to finish my assignment though which cannot be a bad thing however the regression from lady back to ladette definitely is but it’s something that cannot be helped, particularly when I can’t even lift my arm to style my hair or pop on some mascara.

However, some extra TLC is in order I think, therefore my pampering session will include a bath and a hot water bottle, however much I profess to hating the former, it just depends if I can pluck the courage up to ask my mum to scrub my back for me? :-/ How ladylike?!

N

Saturday, December 2rd – The ‘Regressive’ Day

What an absolute disaster today has been. Woke up after having a muscle spasm in my neck and as a consequence haven’t been able to look left at all and am now sat with a hot water bottle behind my head courtesy of the other half. (Cue the ‘awwww’s’) I’m afraid slouching was the only option today as were jogging bottoms and a hoody.

Absolutely no sign of a lady today whatsoever. We all have our off days eh?!

To top it off I was treated to a kebab garnished with a healthy helping of chips and cheese on the side for dinner. Once again, no lady in sight as I’m sure no real lady would eat such a dinner (if you could ever call it that.) The secret belches afterwards definitely weren’t lady-like and unfortunately didn’t go unnoticed.

Unfortunately folks, I think I can be accused of regressing.

N

Friday, December 2nd – The ‘Do your knees ache?’ Day

Today, I was lucky enough to have off so I made full use of it by making a visit to the gym, meeting a friend for coffee once again afterwards and then came home to work.  It wasn’t the most eventful of days but I suppose the most important thing is that I stuck to what I’ve learnt over the past two and a half weeks and was a lady.

imagesYet again almost another week I have gone without uttering a swear word, unless of course I’ve been quoting off someone or merely stating what something means (just to be pedantic) which happened a couple of times today I must admit when I was telling my friend what certain swear words meant because she’s been ignorant enough to avoid reading the blog that I’ve been writing. Her own attempts to be ladylike which we both discussed earlier in the week did seem quite simply to have gone out the window, judging by the way she sat with her legs open (yes, I did point this out to her today) although her argument was quite simply that it wasn’t a problem so long as she wasn’t wearing a skirt. In my own words: ‘each to their own’ but you won’t catch me sitting like that (anymore!). This was then followed by her proceeding to ask if my knees ached to which I asked ‘why?’ This she then replied to by saying that my knees must ache because I always have my legs crossed over. However, fellow ladies-in-training I must clarify for her sake and yours that my legs do not. It is not something that I’ve only just taken to doing since undertaking this social experiment therefore I can clarify that it shouldn’t cause long term aches and ailments. To be honest, it’s also quite comfortable. Although her friend at the gym did back her up by saying that it may cause my back to ache at times. Why I have not yet discovered, or experienced.

My weekend doesn’t hold many exciting prospects as of yet although that could improve. Either way I will be undertaking my habitual pampering session as I’ve grown quite accustomed to like it and whilst getting ready in the morning I’m actually starting to cut off  some time, so I’m getting good at this I think, without blowing my own trumpet of course.

Perhaps I should learn to be modest?

N

Thursday, December 1st – The ‘Uneventful’ Day

Didn’t wake up to a chocolate behind a cardboard window this morning, all part of growing up I guess, which is a shame because an advent calendar would’ve perhaps cheered me right up and made me feel like a kid again! I’m by no means saying that being a lady requires you to make the sacrifice of advent, just merely stating that I did not buy nor did anyone else buy me an advent calendar.

Mum was back today, although I didn’t see her till this evening so once again domestic duties were calling, I didn’t mind though seeing as it would be the last time I’d be doing the majority of them bar cooking and washing of course, because I’m not a complete child. I don’t think I’m quite ready to embrace chauvinistic tradition just yet.

After a session at the gym early this morning, I returned home to do some work and then opted for a lunchtime nap after I got so little sleep last night thanks to nursing my female kitten; honestly I’m like a mother hen at the minute, very womanly huh?

I also managed to get through university lectures and seminars this afternoon/evening without falling over or having any doors slammed in my face again, though not one person held one open for me, although reading that back that sounds really snobby, as though I class myself as royalty or something, this is not the case. All I simply ask is that gentleman come out of the woodwork and behave as such.

What was nice about today was coming home to be greeted by my mum and her saying how well and sophisticated I look, therefore both the gym and my social experiment must be paying off, especially if she’s noticed it, as she rarely notices anything.

Success so far.

N

Wednesday, November 30th – The ‘Domestic Duty’ Day

Not quite sure how it is possible or even if it is possible to look good whilst doing 101 things. By this I am relating to cooking, cleaning, washing, working, writing etc, etc. All of which I have done today with quite possibly the least bit of female etiquette. Wiping beads of sweat from your brow in the gym is perhaps acceptable but when running up and down the stairs to fetch bits and bobs and to ensure everything is as it should be in a dress and then wiping a bead of sweat off your brow, I’m not sure it is?

As you’ll have guessed, today had mostly been full of domestic duties and university work. Nothing fun and nothing entirely exciting but I have managed to answer one of the questions I had last week. No it is not possible to keep up appearances when you’re undertaking domestic or physical duties so why try? Because doing so will make you feel like you’ve achieved something with confidence perhaps? Well, it did for me today, but I can’t say I’ll be doing the hovering in a dress next time, I can’t imagine how bizarre I must have looked. I didn’t have anybody around to take a photograph unfortunately.

Another trip to the gym this morning and then coffee with a friend afterwards, not in our gym gear either might I add. She complimented how she liked the new me and even succumbed to the fact that perhaps she wasn’t quite as lady-like as she could be, I’m sure she won’t mind me saying. It wasn’t anything quite as picturesque as two women at luncheon drinking coffee with their pinkies in the air but we looked almost like two ladies at lunch or two women with manners anyway which I must say from our surroundings is a little rare. I just hope that we don’t start to see the demise of femininity thanks to the binge drinking culture, media influence and the constant fight for the dominant role between female and male which might I add in my view is utterly pointless.

N

Tuesday, November 29th – The ‘Gym Supervision’ Day (without being pervy)

Today, I was left with the role of Mummy for a few days whilst my own mother is away and as much as I thought I was not going to enjoy it, I’ve actually surprised myself because I have! Whilst I was left to look after myself I found myself with the addition of a 16 year old brother to look after too, because quite frankly he’s not quite used to taking care of himself.

So obviously today has involved: cleaning, washing, shopping and cooking, chores which have been relished by this lady and done with a smile on her face amongst some occasional reprimanding for the use of swear words by my brother whilst on his gaming console. I also found myself partaking in some gaming too, not quite a role designated to me but as I was asked I found myself unable to refuse. I can’t say that I looked the most lady-like whilst sat on my brothers desktop chair with a controller in hand, shooting opponents but nevertheless it was ‘family’ time and I enjoyed it. I don’t think there was quite a lady-like manner of enduring in such an activity, but if it’s a bit of fun, heck why make a song and dance about it?

I had a meeting to attend this afternoon and then made another trip to the gym, so once again breaking my rule of ‘no trousers’ but they have pink in, so is that perhaps pardonable? The gym was my main point of supervision today. I witnessed two girls in the female changing room applying make-up and lip-gloss before they even entered the gym. Personally I don’t think I look the most unpresentable at the gym (although I don’t think that’s always the case) but I don’t actually understand what point there is of making yourself look good for it. After all, if you’re working hard enough, you’ll have sweated it off by the end of the workout. If you’re not entirely comfortable in your own skin then there is a slight lack of self-confidence which I think can only stem from their main reason of wanting to wear make-up to the gym in the first place, to gain the attention of the opposite sex. With this in mind I also noticed that unfortunately it’s women like that who as a consequence cause perverted men to ogle girls whilst they’re working out which I experienced myself this evening. A few of which were there with their own partners which is perhaps a little concerning. Not gentlemanly in the slightest.

Marilyn Monroe in a Gym in Heels!The gym then, perhaps not the best place to parade your lady-like fashion or style but indeed the best place to exemplify lady-like etiquette. Keeping yourself to yourself, not conversing with strangers, maintaining self-confidence and self-respect together with the act of not slouching, utilising manners when necessary (e.g. please or thank you if you are offered a piece of gym equipment) and of course understanding why you are there and keeping this in mind so as not to stray from your goal. If you follow this then it could not be simpler.

Tomato and Mozarella Pasta Bake

I ended the evening by cooking dinner for my brother and I. Tomato and mozzarella pasta bake (home made) with garlic bread (unfortunately not homemade). Perhaps, there’s not just a lady wanting to get out of this body, but a domestic goddess too.

N

Monday, November 28th – The ‘worst’ Day (so far)

When you imagine ladies, or even females or women for that matter, do you imagine them covered in bruises? Hmmm…thought not!  But I’ve always been clumsy, either that or just not as aware of my surroundings as most and although I haven’t managed to slip, trip or hurt myself in the past few days (I say few days because I did slice into my finger with a knife earlier last week) I did break that habit today and consequently have about six bruises covering my body.

Woke up bright and early today with a view to doing some work, which I did and then got ready and dressed for university. I opted for black today, because I was having a fat day and possibly wore the lowest heels that I own purely for comfort and because they were warm as today’s weather conditions weren’t quite so suitable for platforms or four and half inch heels.

IMG-20111128-01247I then had a drive to the vets and popped into a pet shop purchasing a couple of cute Santa hats for my cats, a mother must look after her babies. Although they won’t be seeing them until Christmas. I must admit I was very proud though as I’ve finally started my Christmas shopping! I know it’s usually the women that are supposed to be more prepared but I guess that is something I am going to have to work on, being a lady and all that jazz.

When I finally got on campus, I had a walk to the library.

Now, In order to get to the library there are a series of corridors to walk down and in between these corridors are doors. I had the same male walking in front of me the whole way to the library in quite close proximity might I add and not once did he pass the door over to me, but he made damn sure he let them fall shut right in my face. What a gentleman he was huh? Fair enough he may have been in a rush, but seriously how long does it take to pass a door over or hold a door open for someone else? I was absolutely horrified at his lack of manners and to be honest it made me realise that no matter how much I want to be a lady, there will always be people around that won’t treat me like one.

University was a simple feat following that, up until I nipped to the loo, after washing my hands I walked towards the door and slipped in a huge puddle falling rather nastily banging both my left hand side, my right knee and my right hand. Ouch! The fact that there were three other females in the bathroom at the same time as me, made it that extra bit embarrassing (because me, being me would’ve been embarrassed even if I was alone) but they kindly helped me to my feet and made sure I was okay, which might I add; I wasn’t! I didn’t feel much of a lady after that I must say and I was baffled that I could fall so nastily considering I was wearing the lowest heeled shoes I own. Maybe I should stick to the high ones, either that or just make myself a little more aware of my surroundings.

The day did actually get worse, but as it has nothing to do with being a lady, I won’t bore you with the details other than the fact that I ended up getting all teary-eyed in public and resorted in blowing off my aggression by taking a trip to the gym (both not very lady-like) wearing trousers for the first time in two weeks, but I think we can make an exception in this instance considering a skirt would have been highly inappropriate on the treadmill?

N

Sunday, November 27th – The ‘No turning back’ Day

Lazy Sunday’s used to be my favourite day of the week but the past two weeks just haven’t felt quite the same without being able to flex my non-lady-like tendencies. I can’t gauge myself on food, slouch all over the house or feel quite as comfortable as I used to in my pyjamas or tracksuit bottoms (and a top obviously) without shedding a slight bit of guilt. Therefore I think ladies-to-be, once you hit this moment there’s quite possibly no turning back…result!

This morning I mostly read, once again at my desk for fear of slouching and then settled to watch a film with my poorly baby brother which was nice because we very rarely have that sort of quality ‘sibling’ time that we should. Can’t say anything positive about the film to be honest but the company was great. Naturally I accommodated myself in my dressing gown, no pyjamas! I can safely say that it has been two weeks as of tomorrow since I have stepped foot outside of my house or inside of my house in a pair of trousers…I think I’m quite happy and comfortable wearing skirts and dresses for the foreseeable future however I may have to invest in a larger wardrobe (I hope Santa is listening). I’m also slightly concerned about what happens when it comes to doing intense domestic duties, gardening or moving furniture for example? (I’d like to point out that I don’t garden…yet, but I plan to one day) I can see myself being one of those ‘odd’ people wearing a dress and wellington boots. Then I suppose, those odd looks will be granted, especially if the wellington’s have heels. (That was a joke, albeit a not very funny one).

The relaxed afternoon was followed by a visit from some family and a nice Sunday roast courtesy of Mummy at the dinner table. Possibly an absolute breakthrough for me, as I didn’t spill one speck of food down myself or anyone else. Perhaps I am getting closer to becoming this lady after all…

Another pampering session was long overdue for me this evening and I am now pleased to announce that I am squeaky clean and comfortably so.

To say that I have managed to last two weeks undergoing this experiment is an achievement to be honest, especially considering that I did not think that I would last a day, have the support of certain people or even that people around me would make it as easy as it has been. The lesson learnt this week then is probably that persistence and motivation pays off, as long as you are not at risk of becoming somebody else and ensure  you keep true to yourself then becoming a lady seems possible. However, let’s see what week three brings first.

N

Saturday, November 26th – The ‘Ooops!’ Day

Some valuable lessons learnt today:

 1) Do not wear headbands, they make your ears stick out (or maybe that’s just applicable to me and my choice of headband),

2) Always remember to carry tissues; they come in handy for both little and big emergencies,

3) Never pack your handbag in a rush, and;

4) Do not order fizzy drinks unless they come with a straw.

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What a day today has turned out to be. OK, I woke up rather late, but that was because silly me chose to watch chick flicks and comedies until the early hours but this was subsequently followed by myself and my mother chasing our male cat around the house after he’d made the conscious decision to bring a baby bird into the house. Granted it was probably a gift, but I can’t say we were too fond of it. At least however, one male could have been said to have been doing his job and providing for the family, although his efforts won’t be being eaten anytime soon I’m afraid, so that baby bird’s life was lived in vain.

Following this my baby brother (I say baby brother, but he is sixteen) decided to go and perform some tricks on his BMX whilst awaiting a friend’s phone call. However, this was short lived and to cut a long story short we unfortunately had to call an ambulance out, but I am pleased to report that he is fine…for now. Although, all of the paramedics were male and I was in my dressing gown, unshowered and not very presentable so I don’t think I gave off the strict vibe of ‘lady’. This of course wasn’t a huge concern, for them or me at the time but I just thought that I would highlight that it isn’t always possible to be as pristine as one could be, but I’m sure you knew that already.

My afternoon was then taken up by my efforts to put together applications for my postgraduate study which wasn’t quite the highlight of my day, but nevertheless needed to be done.

Later this evening my other half and I decided we would take a trip into town for a spot of dinner and perhaps the cinema. I took this as an opportunity to really test my lady etiquette and dressed appropriately without of course wanting to overdo it, although I am afraid to say that my make-up did have to be ‘caked’ on as those zits just didn’t want covering up so I may have looked a tad too pristine.

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…I also made sure that I wrapped up warm too. (The smile on my face says it all…I was excited!)

We had a lovely meal in town, although I couldn’t help but comment on how my female sisterhood were letting me down on the ‘getting dressed up’ front. a) it is a Saturday night and b)You’re at a fancy restaurant, why not make the effort? I lost count of how many people (both male and female) were wearing torn jeans, trainers and even saw a woman in jogging bottoms but of course I wasn’t there for them so enjoyed my meal and my company. It is moments like that when I may feel uncomfortable in my surroundings just because I wanted to make the effort. But it is also moments like that when I know I am confident in myself, that I respect myself and that I can hold my head high.

imagesCACATQ7UI ordered spaghetti, possibly not the best choice especially since I tend to use a fork but avoid the spoon. This time I used both. I must say it worked a treat, I didn’t rush my food, I enjoyed it more and I think for the first time my other half finished before me. Just take heed of lesson 4 above. Do not order a fizzy drink unless it comes with a straw because when you’ve ordered something to eat that contains chilli and need a drink you find yourself wanting to ‘belch’.  I obviously refrained from doing so, but it wasn’t the most comfortable of feelings and may account for the stomach ache that I now have. Oops #1! On the subject of chilli, also make sure that you pack tissues (lesson 2), because when your nose is running and you find that you have no tissues, using the napkin or serviette is not actually the best look.

 After eating, I popped to the ladies to ‘powder my nose’; only this time ‘powdering my nose’ actually meant re-applying my lipstick and using the toilet. At this point you may want to take into account lesson 3 because I actually did pack my handbag in a rush and as a consequence packed my nail varnish instead of my lipstick. I call myself a lady and yet I don’t know the difference between the two in a rush. Oops #2.

Unfortunately we didn’t end our evening with a trip to the cinema due to the film schedule but it did mean we could come back home and cosy up with a cup of (green) tea. Not before walking through town’s already drunk inhabitants though. My other half and I did comment on how a group of men on a ‘stag’ night dressed in swimming costumes and wigs did resemble how some of the women were dressed that night, whether that is unkind or not I guess is discretionary.

An eventful day, but one that has made me extremely tired. I just better remember to take off my make-up tonight…a task which could potentially use up a whole pack of face wipes. Oops #3.

N

Friday, November 25th – The ‘Presentation’ Day

A few days ago I spoke about the big ‘no-no’ of going to sleep in your make-up, and I really should have followed my own advice, especially now that I have about four zits to contend with. Also, why is it that I run out of make-up when I need it most too? Therefore both yesterday and today I must admit I have been slightly orange.

I had a big presentation at university today too. Ten minutes stood in front of a class of thirty students talking about the history of both English and Irish literary history. Looking presentable and speaking clearly and succinctly were the top of my priority list and bar the four zits which decided to visit my face I believe I did it pretty well. It seems other women are starting to notice how smartly I am dressing too and also commencing a consideration of the possibility of doing so themselves which brings a smile to my face. I was also complimented on how eloquently I expressed myself, so quite possibly a successful presentation considering that the content wasn’t all bad either. It was a drastic transformation after yesterday evenings rehearsal where I proceeded to burp every other sentence, quite possibly because I was rushing the content when speaking and not making time to breathe properly…how elegant! I would however like to point out that I was alone whilst rehearsing so perhaps not all bad?

This afternoon mostly consisted of sitting at my desk reading a novel. Yes, at my desk! I’m beginning to realise that laying on my bed whilst reading doesn’t actually help, because a) I tend to fall asleep and b) I slouch and my posture is something I do seriously need to work on. However, the idea that standing up straight makes my chest stick out is slightly off-putting for me, I don’t want to look like I’m trying to show off my assets, so perhaps I need to consider this a little. :-/

This weekend may not hold entirely exciting prospects for me but spending time with family should allocate me a perfect opportunity to practice my etiquette and of course to see if they notice a change.

N

Thursday, November 24th – The ‘No’ Day

When you rock up to university and your group of friend’s compliment how you look, it is always a nice feeling, and today was one of those days. When you hear comments such as the following:  ‘You look nice,’ ‘Yeah, you do, really smart too,’ then you know, your work is done. Well, not quite. But I’ve succeeded in looking presentable at least. The most noteworthy of comments was a question though, asking if the reason I was dressed so smartly was because I had been to or was going to an interview. For one, I was a little concerned, because the outfit I sported today wasn’t quite interview attire (for me anyway) and two, can’t one just dress smart because one wants to? Naturally I didn’t reply as such, just a simple ‘no’ sufficed in this instance. IMG-20111124-01215

I found myself walking around university this afternoon with a huge pile of books and my huge university bag in hand, so yes, I was struggling slightly and considering I was surrounded by plenty of men, not one of them rushed to hold a door open for me or help and I can’t say much for the women either, therefore the test as to whether dressing and acting like a ‘lady’ does attract ‘gentleman’ is perhaps sufficiently answered with a ‘no’ unless of course, ‘gentlemen’ just do not exist anymore?

Sitting down to my lecture I entered into a conversation with one of my fellow students who complimented the dress I was wearing and decided to tell her about the social experiment I was conducting. This appeared to attract the attention of a couple of others (females) who were obviously eavesdropping (but I do talk quite loud, therefore they would’ve been forgiven because it would not have been hard to overhear what I was saying…yes it is something I need to work on as ‘a lady-in-training’ too) and we started to discuss whether being a ‘lady’ was actually possible in the generation we live in. The majority of answers resembled something like ‘no’ particularly when it came to the subject matter of swearing. Whilst I appear to have managed to entirely eradicate bad words from my vocabulary in the past week or so (give or take a few slip-ups) they believed that such a task was impossible, especially when surrounding peers and friends used such words habitually. Therefore: a result of peer pressure and ignorance. I’m not one to force my views on them but I encouraged them to make an attempt to see how simple it was. However, it only took five minutes before someone slipped up, so I was unfortunately proven wrong.  Of course we laughed about it, obviously me, trying to hide my disappointment. I really want to find other ‘ladies’ out there or even potential for them anyway.

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As soon as I got home, I delved into some work and then decided to make some dinner for myself. Ok, I can cook. (There is a running joke between my other half and I that I burnt a boiled egg, however this is NOT true. It all refers back to a story I told him about when I was 14 years old and decided to cook my Dad breakfast. I then proceeded to burn an egg I was trying to fry.) But tonight I decided that I had no interest in showing off my culinary skills so made myself the following: 2 slices of toast, a tin of spaghetti in tomato sauce and 2 poached eggs.

Not the most lady-like of dinners but it was delicious and it was only me eating it so who’s to argue? I even made sure I cut the spaghetti so that I wasn’t slurping it. I’m slowly getting the hang of this, although next time, maybe I should actually opt to eat at the dinner table.

N

Wednesday, November 23rd – The ‘Avoiding Cat Wind’ Day

Another day of doing nothing much but work has passed me by and I can’t say that I’ve had much opportunity to flex my being a ‘lady-in-training’, therefore there isn’t much to be learnt from today’s diary entry.

They say a pet resembles its owner, or is that just dogs? I sure hope it isn’t because my kitten, Pepper is sure not a lady. Last night she insisted on sleeping in my bedroom and on my bed and also on breaking wind. Every other night as a minimum it is to be expected and it does not help when it is directed straight at your face. Eurgh! I have made sure that whilst working today she has not been anywhere near me. She is one kitty that needs training in the art of etiquette. I said this in one of my earlier diary entries last week…she looks so beautiful and elegant but conducts herself entirely contrary to her appearance. Perhaps that how I was thought of before I began this experiment?

Once again, as my usual Wednesday’s tend to go I have not yet showered or ‘preened’ myself but am planning on a pleasant and relaxing pampering session later. I suppose the fact that I had visitors today at midday and that I was still in my dressing gown isn’t entirely lady-like but I hope I can be slightly forgiven? After all, wouldn’t today have been a complete waste of make-up and time considering what to wear if I have not left nor planned to leave the house all day? I’m hoping you’re nodding in agreement. I kept my manners intact though.

Therefore:

An early night for me after another face mask, hair mask, shave, pluck, wash, comb, moisturise and quite possibly a film, my night as a social recluse begins now.

N

Tuesday, November 22nd – The ‘Lady in Red’ Day

I opted to be the lady in red today, although with the mood I was in I could quite happily have gone for blue or even black for that matter. Not the happiest of bunnies today but I tried not to let it alter my mood with others which to be honest must be an absolute first for me.

Cranky sums it up pretty well. So much so that I even forgot to take any photos today.

 I took another trip into the City centre today for a long overdue meeting with a friend. I must admit, today must have been the first day I was not so conscious of my surroundings (or odd looks) which is strange considering that  I was possibly wearing the most vibrant of attire that I’ve worn this entire experiment, therefore I must have stood out far more than usual. But I had a strangely confident air about me.

I think bearing in mind I was in the company of a friend, the fact that the worst swear word I uttered was ‘bitch’ is quite an achievement for me, but I think it’s beginning to dawn on me that swear words are just natural these days. I hate to say it, so perhaps they’re something I’ll never shake.

As much as I feel comfortable around friends I was conscious of the fact that I wasn’t using such unsophisticated terminology and wondered whether in the future this could have an effect on the company I keep. I’m quite a varied personality, therefore I keep friends with all types of personalities, likes, interests, opinions and hobbies as a result I sincerely hope the company I keep shall not be altered. Perhaps it’s just become clear to me that I possibly used swear words a lot more than I thought  and because I don’t any more the transition has become a little more obvious?

Time will only tell.

N

Monday, November 21st –  ‘Nap’ Day

If you really aren’t keen on getting odd looks or standing out from the crowd then attending a university lecture dressed both pristine and smart is definitely not the thing to do. I’m not quite sure if they were good looks or bad looks but either way I got them! In a world entirely separate from regularity the university environment seems to encourage freedom of expression through academia, cosmetic attire, clothing and accessories. Therefore, I’m not really sure why I got odd looks for looking a tad different, perhaps it’s because I looked a lot smarter than most lecturers do too?

Today hasn’t been the best of beginnings to a week I must admit. Yet again I managed to ladder a pair of tights so I’m now down to my final two pairs so there’ll definitely be some on my Christmas list. Oh no! I mean stockings don’t I? I also attended an appointment this morning which appeared to last forever discussing things I really didn’t want to, but being the lady I am I was polite and stuck with it.

The rest of my day was consequently overshadowed by a rather annoying headache which appears to have evolved into the early beginnings of a nasty migraine, therefore both before university and after it have resulted in me having a nap…yes, in my make-up too.IMG-20111121-01197

Ladies (if you do choose to wear make-up) if there’s one rule you should adhere to when wearing make-up it is making sure you take it off before you sleep and allow your skin to breathe otherwise you’ll end up with huge zits which quite frankly don’t look or feel very nice at all, obviously you can see I didn’t listen to my own advice so now doubt will end up with a one or two zits of my own tomorrow.

Anyway…I’m returning to my nap…minus the make-up…here’s hoping I can shake this headache.

N

Note: I know I can tend to sound materialistic and shallow when I write my diary entries but believe me I do know and believe that there are more important things to life, so please don’t think of me as being shallow as I don’t wish to appear so. I am only using this diary for its intended purpose.

Sunday, November 20th – The ‘Final’ Day (of week 1)

Time is relatively precious when you’re in your final year of studying a degree, something I have definitely learnt these past few weeks. Time is also something that being a lady definitely takes up.

My habitual act of getting ready prior to this social experiment probably took about half an hour. These days, getting ready and grooming myself to make sure I look entirely presentable probably takes in the region of an hour to an hour and a half. That does take into consideration bathroom time too. I always used to pride myself on the fact that it took me less time to get ready than my other half, I guess now I can simply pride myself on the fact I can always profess to looking presentable.

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Just to add to this though, whilst most females tend to take hours getting ready to go out on a night out they often come out looking far worse than they did prior to getting ready, therefore it is not the time that you take but the effort that you put in that counts.

The extent of my lady-like duties today has probably been the ordinary act of mashing potatoes for my mum’s Sunday roast. Ok, I also think I can add to that the fact that I looked presentable too and they tasted good! I have an extremely busy week as of tomorrow so making sure everything is in order and fussing around perhaps could also be considered part of the lady-like standard.

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No swear words have been uttered, no wind broken (in the presence of others) nor any slouching today and the realisation that I am coming toward the end of my first week as a lady-in-training has come to make me aware of the following things:

  1. Manners are something that should be present in all of us, whether male, female, lady or gentleman and the fact that I have neglected to nurture my manners in the past, or even use them in some circumstances is not very good.
  2. The act of being a lady is costly both in time and money.
  3. Being a lady does not mean abandoning the person you are or were, at all points you must be yourself whilst of course maintaining self-respect.
  4. Dressing well may afford you the disadvantage of some odd looks however the gains to be made such as; confidence, respectability and looking presentable far outweigh this.
  5. AND, if I carry on dressing like this through winter, I could be very cold! Time to get my thinking cap on…either that or my coat!

Whilst my weekend probably hasn’t been the most sociable or active, it has allowed me to tidy up some of the etiquette that I have let flop slightly so when it does come to social occasions I can say that I have tried my best.

Let’s see what lessons week two has in store for me.

N

Saturday, November 19th – The ‘just being myself’ Day

Not the best of days today, awoke late after a disturbed night’s sleep and dreams of vampires. (Guess that was the only good bit) but after breakfast, conversations between myself and my other half led to an argument. Whilst real ladies should probably submit to anything being said to them by a person of the opposite sex I don’t believe I am quite ready to adapt to that premise. As a result of this I may have raised my voice and interrupted my other half when something was said that I didn’t agree with or like therefore perhaps my voyage as a lady-in-training is not set to be as smooth as I’d hoped.

After he’d left I settled down to a spot of reading; D.H Lawrence’s Women in Love although written in the 1920’s I believe the key female characters; Ursula and Gudrun are struggling with their own womanhood and definition of it. Both characters themselves show unlady-like tendencies and if their own characters are modelled on women of the time then I don’t believe I should have much to worry about as it seems they aren’t submissive to (so-called) gentleman’s comments and actions either.

Whilst today may not have been the most successful of days both with chores and my own social experiment I believe I have learnt that it is still important to be true to oneself and stick by your principles. Although some tend to drag me down by making reference to my failures and also emphasise the fact that prior to this experiment I lacked certain manners and etiquette that I now seem to have realised, it does not mean that I was not aware that my own behaviour was wrong. Some people learn from their mistakes immediately, others however, keep making them until their own lessons are firmly imprinted upon them.

Today, I may not have been a lady, but today I was definitely myself.

N

Friday, November 18th – The ’50/50′ Day

Words of warning; when you’re undergoing the metamorphosis from plain woman to lady and you let close ones know of your plans, be prepared for having it used against you at any impromptu moment. For example, today I found myself having the following conversation with my other half queuing outside a well known supermarket cashpoint: (The printed conversation below may not be quoted word for word)

Him: I saw the pictures on your diary, the bit about you needing your roots doing…Laughs.

Me: I do need my roots doing, they’re awful.

Him: Well real ladies don’t dye their hair different colours. (He says this because he doesn’t like my constant change of colour, particularly now I’m blonde)

Me: Smug tone …Well I’m not a lady; I’m a lady-in-training!

We move closer to the cashpoint whilst in the Queue to which a cashpoint becomes free, I move in to use it and he strides in and uses it instead.

Me: Oy! Whatever happened to ladies first?

Him: Now suddenly smug…Well, you’re not a lady, you’re a lady in training aren’t you? You said it…Smirks.

I did laugh at this about ten minutes after it occurring but I can’t say that he made it easy for me, however is a lady-in-training ever going to get used to becoming a lady if men (supposedly gentlemen) don’t quite understand that ladies always come first? I could’ve used a naughty swear word too but I refrained.

Today I was supposed to have a meeting with an old friend but unfortunately she had to cancel therefore I found myself all dressed up and with nowhere to go. I even went as far as utilising the good old fashioned lady tip of dressing with matching shoes and handbag. Once again a few odd looks were dodged by the locals on my high street. I suppose it isn’t that often you see someone dressed so smartly when they’re popping down to the local chemist for some cosmetics. But everything is worth making an effort for. I say, now sat in my dressing gown in the presence of my other half.

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We went tenpin bowling later in the day; naturally I was concerned how ladylike I was going to look in my little black dress, black tights and bowling shoes. Unfortunately I didn’t take any pictures because, a) I forgot, but most importantly b) quite frankly I looked a little silly. However I did manage to get a strike first time, so I took a photo of that. Yes, I am ‘Lady’ and the other half was ‘Tramp’ it seemed to suit us well until a 5 year old girl asked why, to which I used the answer which I thought most appropriate, an association with the well known Disney film which to my horror she did not know of. So I settled for: ‘He’s just a Tramp.’

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I forgot to mention another ladder I acquired to my tights yet again (not quite on the stockings yet…think I need to grow up a bit first) this time through the (what seemed so simple) job of getting out of the car which turned out to be not-so- simple and resulted in the aforementioned consequence.

This evening’s dinner of a takeaway pizza wasn’t quite so lady-like either, particularly as a traditional society would state that I really should be the one cooking. When my other half suggested eating my pizza with a knife and fork (because that’s what a lady would do) I think I almost scowled at him (poor thing) but I settled for eating with my fingers, and did it quite well until a piece of spicy beef fell into my cleavage, which I consequently plucked out, gaped at and then proceeded to pop into my mouth. My argument was, it probably tasted better.

All in all, a 50/50 day if we were to measure my successive lady-esque-ness I think. But as I’ve pointed out so many times, I am still in training!

N

Thursday, November 17th – The ‘not got much to report’ Day

Tough day today, not a moment really to think about anything except work, work, work! I have a feeling these diary entries could get repetitive and that’s not interesting in the slightest is it? So may have to jazz things up a little…whilst considering my lady etiquette too of course.

First hurdle of the day was, after almost finishing my breakfast cereal trying to determine whether the most lady-like thing to do was to slurp the remaining milk from a spoon or to put the bowl to my mouth and drink. Naturally I would do the latter but in light of my experiment I did the former and was satisfied in doing so. I didn’t feel as uncomfortable as I would usually for a start ,as guzzling food or drink is never really a good idea as it can often lead to excess air, i.e wind. Which you’ll be pleased to know I haven’t had any of today…and even if I did I would not be doing it in anybodies presence anyway thank you very much.

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Moments away from work were taken up by my sighing, brief strokes of my two cats and short walks around the house…it is possibly key to make you aware that I did all of this in my dressing gown as I haven’t removed myself from the cosy, warm and fluffy thing all day although I have showered so grant me some kudos there. Even though my diary entry yesterday ended with me struggling to determine what to wear today, it seems that I had no worries there.

If I hadn’t had so much work to do I could’ve been taking up my time with useless lady-like things such as walks in the park, shopping or even going on luncheon dates but unfortunately this woman has a career in the pipeline (she hopes) so all work and no play for now.

Whilst writing this I find myself wondering…why is it that my male cat is so much more elegant and attractive than my female one?  It also brings me round to the very thought that there are plenty more men out there that are far more elegant than me…worrying don’t you think?

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N

Wednesday, November 16th – The first use of the word ‘Tiddle’ Day

I don’t think words such as ‘tiddle’ have ever graced my language, but today I found myself implementing it into my conversation in place of the word ‘wee’. Why? Possibly because I am now starting to think about the terminology I use in light of my newly found status as ‘a lady in-training’. Okay, I may have used the term I was trying to conceal just a few words ago, but that was purely for the readers purpose and
intentional so don’t take away my kudos just yet.

Today, thus far has also seen the absence of the legendary but damaging swear word which, in light of the circumstances that have surrounded me today is probably a very good thing. I somehow don’t think that using such obscenities at an interview or open day would have been acceptable.  I must admit that with this absence I have felt a tad more confident in my womanhood and less rude, partly because I have always felt the swear word to hold connotations of unintelligent and dim users whose vocabulary only spans as far as my back garden therefore, if the only thing I take away from this social experiment is not swearing then I will be content.

You’ll be pleased (I hope) to note that I dressed accordingly, although I must admit this dressing as a lady malarkey is going to be slightly unkind on the old purse and its contents if it continues, as I found out today after putting a ladder through a pair of tights. Yes, I did wear tights the sordid things, never has anything been more uncomfortable, but in light of the fact that I was wearing a skirt and the temperature was pretty low I just had to! However, I plan to invest in some stockings should the bank balance let me, obviously now I know how to put the darn things on I’m hoping that I shouldn’t need too many pairs.

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I also toned down slightly on the makeup and kept it neutral, not a tint of orange in sight (as my other half will be pleased to hear) I don’t think, and I believe I looked a lot neater than usual, bar the fact that I drastically need my roots doing.

I don’t think I’ll ever shake the odd looks, (whether of admiration or condemnation) when walking down the street, dressed smartly and in heels in the middle of the day but I’m sure I’ll get used to them even if they did make me feel uncomfortable at first and led me to phone up my mum and have a quick blubber about how uneasy I felt. However I’ve already noticed, that dressing neatly and looking tidy doesn’t
half make one walk more upright and confidently and the heels helped too.

Now it’s just a case of deciding what to wear tomorrow.

N

Tuesday, November 15th – ‘Only-One-Swear-Word’ Day

Only one swear word today! I actually only used one swear word the whole day, and it wasn’t a very bad one…honest. Although the recipient may not have agreed, especially after he replied ‘Can I be honest with you? I don’t think you’ll ever be a lady!’ But to me that is an achievement in itself.

 Ok, I may be sat here with a hair mask on after a long slog in front of the computer doing work for the entire day. I’ve not had a shower and I may be slouching. Just a little bit though, so all in all I can’t assert to have been much of a lady today can I?  I am however, in the midst of a good preen of myself; treating my hair, painting my nails, shaving, plucking, any other verbs you can think of that aren’t unreasonable and relate to my appearance I am doing in preparation for my actual first outing as a lady tomorrow.

So what actually is being lady-like? Apart from the dated stereo-types I’m struggling to think.

  • Obviously looking good but not over-the-top (so no I won’t be pulling out the orange foundation tomorrow.)
  • Dressing feminine although the skirt mustn’t be too short (so I’ll have to put that mini skirt to the back of the wardrobe.)
  • Holding yourself well but not arrogantly. (I think I can manage that, although come five o’clock I may be slouching slightly. Either that or drastically overdoing it!)

I think those 3 rules should be enough to put me in good stead. I must admit though I am nervous. It is not unusual to get strange looks when you’re dressed well or wearing heels in the day walking down your local high street. I know this from experience as I don’t own a single pair of flat shoes. Carrie Bradshaw sure couldn’t cope with the looks I get sometimes and I don’t go out wearing anything nearly as strange or as expensive as what she did. If only…

Anyway I think it’s time for that shower…I’m about to shave my legs for the second consecutive day, something I haven’t done in so long. (Sorry if you’re eating whilst reading).

Wish me luck

N

 Monday, November 14th – Training Day

It’s only training day, is what I kept telling myself after my first mishap of the day; waking up and phoning my other half whilst still
half asleep and walking to the toilet to have a wee whilst continuing to chat. It was only after I flushed the toilet and washed my hands that I thought ‘Oops! Real ladies don’t have conversations on the phone whilst have a tiddle!’

For some of you that may think that the above anecdote is a bit odd, this is unfortunately normal behaviour between my other half and I. It
seems we have got into a fierce circle of getting a tad too comfortable with one another, however, don’t worry, there are some stories I won’t tell.

After making myself and my kitty breakfast and clearing up her litter I had time to sit and wonder how a creature so beautiful could act so crude (no I’m not talking about me this time) especially as she sat in front of me, legs spread cleaning her furry bum. Pets really are like their owners
huh?!

I could sit here and write that I’d had a pretty successful day, but considering I’ve been sat in front of a computer at my desk all day completing work and have managed to rack up a total of three swear words, one burp and a few slouches I couldn’t really could I? But considering I usually  manage to total more than three swear words a day perhaps some would say I could. Or maybe I’m just attempting to make myself feel better. One thing I do know though is that when my computer crashed and I lost my work, I didn’t react quite as aggressively as I usually would. Oh, and I followed my Dad’s rules about the bathroom and breaking wind.

What I have to remember is exactly this: change doesn’t happen overnight and if I want to become something, ultimately I can…I’m hoping.

Let’s see what tomorrow brings.

N

One Response to “Diary of a Lady ‘In Training’”

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  1. Ladies and Gentlemen… « thenotsobblackandwhite.com - December 15, 2011

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