Valentine’s Day, Opportunity to Spread Love, or Simple Consumerism?

14 Feb

untitledValentine’s Day has always been a ‘holiday’ that has baffled me.

 An opportunity to show the person you love or admire (secretly) that you really like them, love them or appreciate them. So what about the other 364 days (or in the case of this year 365 days) of the year? Do we go along ignoring them?  In this case then, is it not just like any other day, although a day when all the considered gifts and arrangements go up in price?

As a young teenage girl I had my attractions to older boys in higher years, every year I’d send a different boy a card and every year I’d sign it offwith a ‘Guess Who?’ Consequentially each year nothing would become of it because of my anxious desire to remain anonymous, I never learnt my lesson and in turn no relationship ever came out of sending a Valentine’s Day card. Sad as it may seem, I’m happier for the fact no relationships prospered from this.

As a young teenage girl I never received any Valentine’s Day cards myself. Only the odd poor attempt by my mother to hide that she had in fact written it. During my first ‘serious’ relationship whilst I was 17 years old was when I received my first one (it wasn’t the most exciting prospect) and at 18 years old I received my first anonymous Valentine’s Day card (this one was more exciting). I was in a relationship at the time with the guy who had given me my ‘first proper Valentine’s card’ and he remained adamant that he had not sent it, as did my mother. It caused some friction in my relationship at the time and this was either because:imagesCANPDKKC

a)      My other half couldn’t hack that he had competition or,

b)       That I was constantly musing over who it could have been from.

Not very healthy in the slightest, especially as it almost caused a break-up which I’m not entirely sure was the sender’s intention. Although he has since told me, it was simply because he wanted me to know I was admired.

That ‘serious’ relationship eventually ended, and before I go any further it wasn’t due to the card incident, but it didn’t help and as a consequence I am now in a relationship with my first anonymous Valentine. (Awwww).

imagesCAYNVTHRValentine’s Days since have always caused more fuss than they have needed to simply because I, personally (not sure about the other half) have always felt under pressure to do something because everybody else is. Even the ‘singletons’ these days embark upon singles nights out, together simply because it’s Valentine’s Day and everybody attached is doing something.

What we don’t seem to realise is, that we don’t have to do anything. It’s not a religious holiday, nor a cultural tradition but simply an opportunity in fact for consumerism to take precedence over our actual love for one person. 

Every Valentine’s Day since I can remember has pretty much resulted in an argument and I put it down to the pressure to perform, to entertain and to exert. Even when I have no money I borrow some in order to please the other half because it seems that simply saying ‘I love you’ is enough on every other day of the year except Valentine’s Day.

Earlier last week, my other half claimed that I should keep two days free this week so that he could take me away for Valentines. I said, so long as it wasn’t expensive I’d permit him to. Eventually late last week (not the best at planning) he came to me asking for advice claiming that his plans were working out far too expensive. Not surprising considering that his plans involved a trip to London for the night staying in an expensive Soho hotel , watching a West End show and then having sushi. I wouldn’t even expect that for my birthday let alone Valentine’s Day and I assured him that the thought was enough. We’ve now decided firmly to keep things simple this year, a card, dinner and a film. But surely for a day that really does not matter, even that is too much? Although I’m thankful of yet another excuse to spend an evening with him.

imagesCAPBM8YIIn my experience of Valentine’s Day it has never led to love in my relationships either past or present but a mini-war-of-words and a lighter purse. It is not surprising considering that we now have Valentine’s Cards to send to Mothers, Fathers, siblings and pets and encouraging people to send cards to their love interest even if they are in a relationship with someone else together with anonymity are never good attitudes to promote. Afterall does anonymity not stink of stalker-type tendencies?

Therefore, Valentine’s Day a ‘holiday’ which should be scrapped in favour of the promotion of spontaneity in actually relationships of love.

Afterall, what good came from anything planned?

Happy Valentines Day!

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